- A Kenyan lady was pictured showering a car as her gift for Valentine to her lover.
We all live in relationships. Some relations are important to us while others are not as important. No matter who we are or what we do, we all relate with people around. The Question above is not really about wanting to know the best valentine gift, it is rather about wanting loving relationships. The valentine gift is just a means to achieve that.
Here is something wonderful I found about knowing the art of having loving relationships. A friend shared with me an article on love and relationships by Acharya Prashant. Sharing a few excerpts from the same:
What is love? A relationship with the other. What kind of relationship one has with the other depends on the relationship one has with oneself. In the sense that, it’s me who relates to you, right? It’s me. Now the ability to relate vests in me. So, it depends on the configuration of my mind. The kind of relationship that I’ll have with you or with anybody else, with the entire world depends on the kind of mind I have, right?
Suppose, I have a mind that is full of doubts and suspicions then, what kind of relationship will I have? A suspicious relationship.
Suppose I have a mind that is always feeling inadequate and unworthy, then what kind of relationship will I have? A relationship of need and dependency.
The relationship that one has with the other depends on the relationship firstly, one has with himself. So, love firstly is one’s own relationship with oneself which in turn translates into one’s relationship with others. Clear?
Now, then what does it mean to have a loving relationship with oneself? What we are saying is, “In order to have a loving relationship with the other. One first needs to have a loving relationship with oneself.”
So, what is it to have a loving relationship with oneself?
When mind is calm and peaceful, relaxed in immersion in its own source then the mind is not aggressive, violent or ambitious towards itself. When the mind is immersed in its own source that is called “Mind’s own health”. This mind is a very joyful mind. It is not aggressive. What is aggression? I am feeling hurt, so I want to hurt the other, that is aggression. I am feeling hurt and I want to hurt the other, that is aggression.
In its tranquil dissolution, the mind does not focus on differences, instead appreciates the oneness behind everything. Hence, there is no division or violence or expectation from oneself. This is what a loving relationship of the individual with oneself is.
I am not expecting anything from myself. I am not divided that I want this or I want that. This is called having a good relationship with oneself. Most of us do not have a good relationship with oneself. We say, “We want good relations with others.” But firstly we do not have good relations with ourselves.
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